Australia’s leading Anxiety specialist, Georgie Collison dishes out her expert advice on how to deal with relationship anxiety. What actually IS relationship anxiety? How do relationships reveal our deepest emotional insecurities? How can our understanding of this help us move through difficult times in our relationships? Read on…
In the pursuit of becoming the fittest, healthiest version of ourselves, we often overlook how deeply intertwined our mental and emotional health is with our physical well-being. If you’ve ever felt anxiety, insecurities and doubts creeping into your relationships, it might be playing out as more than just the flurry of thoughts in your mind and the knot of worry you feel in your gut. Relationship anxiety can hinder your health and wellness goals too.
Relationship anxiety is more than a day of worrying if your partner will leave you, if they’re too good for you or if you need to break up. When the worry is relentless, it can also bring on sleep interference, appetite changes and impaired muscle recovery. In my worst moments of relationship anxiety, I’ve found those scary thoughts of being left by my partner so all-consuming and distressing, I couldn’t even contemplate a workout. Let’s dive in to how relationship anxiety can affect both your mind and body, the four types and what you can do about it.
Persistent, pervasive and often unwarranted fear or doubt in a romantic relationship are the hallmark signs of relationship anxiety. These patterns will often come up in other relationships too, like with certain friends, family members or work colleagues, however no one can bring up your deepest insecurities and fears like a romantic partner can. To love is to risk, and so our anxious mind might question, from a protective place, our worthiness to be loved, our willingness to commit or the future of the relationship.
The Four Types Of Relationship Anxiety – Which one sounds like you?
- Fear of Loss and Abandonment: This type of anxiety might cause a constant feeling of unease, with the worry that your partner can’t be trusted or will leave you. Even if you have solid faith they’re committed to you, you may frequently fear that something might happen to them, like an accident or an unexpected illness.
- Fear of Rejection or Disapproval: Often manifests as deep self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness relating to your relationship, which might lead to trying to prove your worth through being as perfect as you can be. The logic is; if you can see and judge any of your flaws first, then no one else can reject you.
- Fear of Being Trapped In A Bad Situation: This is where you may constantly question if you’re with the right person, attracted enough or in a healthy relationship. You might fear that you’ll be stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns forever or you’ll end up alone.
- Fear of Losing Yourself: Those who fear losing their personal identity and freedom in a relationship might withdraw from their partner, thinking, “Maybe I’d be happier with someone else” or “What if we’re too codependent?”
11 Calming Reminders To Feel Better Today
If you can relate to one or all four types of relationship anxiety, and you’re ready to become calmer and more confident in your relationships, here’s where to begin. While there are many aspects to explore, these 11 truths from my book Master Your Relationship Anxiety will help you ground your expectations and start feeling safer in love.
Keep the following in mind when you find yourself questioning whether you are with the right person, assuming you are in an otherwise healthy, safe relationship:
1) Your partner is not here to save you from your own pain and suffering.
2) Equally, your partner is not purely responsible for sparking your feelings of passion or happiness.
3) Your partner is not a mind-reader. It is not wrong if they often don’t know what you need.
4) Your partner will never be perfect, just as you won’t be. What a relief it is that neither of you have to be perfect in order to be safe and comfortable in a relationship!
5) Your partner will be different to you. In most relationships, you will bring two very different ways of thinking to the table.
6) You will have conflict and disagreements as a result of your different perspectives.
7) You will feel disappointed at times, even with the right person. The reality of long-term relationships will never live up to the standards set in popular culture.
8) You won’t always feel attracted to your partner, yet they can still be the right person for you.
9) You won’t always get that ‘in love’ feeling with them.
10) One person will not be able to meet your every need, and that’s okay.
11) You won’t always get each other. Navigating those moments of disconnection is part of being in a relationship. That’s where the learning and growth happens.
And once you’ve reminded yourself of these realities, the only question you really need to ask to know if they’re right for you is this: Is this someone who I can grow with? I encourage you to journal any insights that come through for you.
The Relationship Anxiety-Health Link
If we unconsciously anxiety to keep a loving partner at arm’s length, forgo relationships altogether, or breed insecurity that erodes a relationship, we miss out on key health benefits. Physical affection and closeness, as one example, is associated reducing pain and inflammation in the body, improved cardiovascular health and better sleep quality. When we’re anxious and feeling unsafe in a relationship, on the other hand, our body is in a constant state of nervous system dysregulation, also know as living in “survival mode”. The stress hormone cortisol elevates out of balance, which can impact sleep or slow muscle recovery . Chronic anxiety also interferes with the body’s ability to properly absorb nutrients, which could hinder muscle growth and energy levels . Additionally, relationship anxiety often leads to mental fatigue, making it harder to stay focused during workouts or maintain a consistent routine. In other words, anxiety can undermine all your hard work at the gym.
By shifting your perspective and addressing the root causes of your relationship anxiety, you can transform not only your emotional life but also your physical well-being. When you feel emotionally secure and supported, your body will thank you by helping you achieve your fitness goals more effectively. For more on transforming anxiety and building healthier relationships, check out my book Master Your Relationship Anxiety
Georgie Collison is Australia’s leading Anxiety specialist. Her first book, The Anxiety Reset Method appeared on Oprah’s book club and her newest release, Master Your Relationship Anxiety, is truly a game changer in terms of working through relationship challenges based on what THIS ACTUALLY IS!
For the full article grab the August/September 2025 issue of Women’s Fitness Australia from newsagents and convenience locations. Subscribe here.
